Happy Valentine’s Day week! In celebration of all the love out there, [friendship love, fam bam love & ‘you had me at hello’ kind-of-love] I wanted to share with you this super awesome way to better ALL of the relationships in your life.
I’m not a counselor or therapist by any means, but I do know that I wish I would’ve known about the love languages sooner in life, because they can be applied to every single relationship you have. Fam, friends and significant others. It is about knowing what means the most to the other person and choosing to show your love for them in that specific way.
Here is how to become fluent in the love languages and better all of your relationships [along with some cute love inspired quotes too]:
What Are The Love Languages?
These are basically 5 qualities that you, as an individual, find most valuable in relation to feeling loved. In other words, it’s how you express and experience love. For example, saying ‘I love you’ actually means more to some people than to others. Receiving gifts means more to some people than others. Even physical touch can mean something different from person to person.
Here are the 5 love languages:
- gift giving – the actual giving and receiving of gifts but more than in just a materialistic way, these gifts represent thoughtfulness and so much more to this love language
- quality time – spending distraction-free quality time with this love language person shows them how much you love and care about them
- words of affirmation – basically words are the most important way to express love for this love language and positive, encouraging words mean the world to him/her
- acts of service [devotion] – finding ways to do things for this love language are the best way to express how you feel, ‘let me do that for you’ is the sweetest thing they can hear
- and physical touch – this doesn’t just mean romantic touching, it means just a general touchy, feely kind of person who express love, concern, security and so much more with touch
To discover what your love language is, take the online quiz and it will put the 5 languages in order of priority for you. Go here to take the quiz and find out your love language profile.
I don’t think you will be surprised by the outcome, but if you’re like me you never fully realized how you perceive love and/or what makes you feel the MOST loved. BUT it will all make sense when you see your results. Take the quiz, and your love language will be perfectly summed up, including a full explanation of what each language means.
Then, have your bestie, parents, boyfriend, sibling, spouse etc take the quiz. I bet once you learn what each love language means you will be able to guess their results. Make it a fun challenge/guessing game.
I knew that I needed to hear certain words from my significant other in past relationships, but just assumed everybody did as well. In hindsight [because that is always crystal clear right???] I totally should’ve known better! Knowing my love language now, makes so much more sense as to why those past relationships didn’t work out. Here is what I got:
- words of affirmation
- quality time
- physical touch
- acts of service [devotion]
- receiving gifts
Words of affirmation means, “Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “‘I love you,'” are important – hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. Kind, encouraging, and positive words are truly life-giving.” Duh Amy, duh. 😉
Now, I look at all the important people in my life and, without them even taking the quiz, I can easily guess what their love language is. A dear family member of mine, for example, LOVES gifts. She gives the best gifts and seriously is ALWAYS giving gifts to everyone! She shows her love that way and so, even though I would rather take her somewhere fun in celebration of her birthday etc, I know that I need to get her gifts. She feels the most loved when I do that, even though I prefer to express my love with quality time over gift giving.
I’m a super lucky girl and found an amazing man who has almost identical love language priorities as I do. In my relationship with my main squeeze [Tony], I know that I can be completely myself, and together we choose quality time adventures, words of affirmation and physical touch over the exchanging of actual presents or acts of service.
So, I’m not saying that if you and your ‘lover’ [teehee I love saying that with an accent] don’t have to have the same exact love language it’s time to throw in the towel! Heavens no! BUT if you don’t have similar priorities you will need to work a bit harder to always keeps his/hers in mind. If you share the same top 1 or 2…a lot less work is involved – piece of cake!
Thanks for reading! Did you take the love languages quiz yet? Surprised by the results or did you totally know what you were going to get? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below. 🙂